I tried to open my eyes but veil of darkness shrouding my eyes won’t lift up. I realized my mind was working in its regular thinking rhythm, my limbs were bit stiff but still I could feel them. Still, Somehow I couldn’t open my eyes, it’s like omnipresent darkness just pressing the leads of my eyes tightly shut with so much ferocity that not a single photon could creep past it. I knew I was relieving from adverse effect of nightmare, but general experience says that in nightmare you awoke suddenly, with a shock. In my case that was just not happening at all, defining logic, in fact reversing the logic on its head.
I tried again. And again. And again…..And I realized there was something wrong. My eyes felt like red giant bursting with force but to only diminish its existence either through irrevocably collapsing to black hole or bursting out of eye-sockets like supernova, in both cases, leaving only the darkness behind, trapping me in it forever.
I thought I could use some effort with my fingers to pry open the eye-leads. As I tried, there was shocking realization that they were missing altogether. God…. my eyes were already open. I sensed my eye-leads perched atop my eyes like owl steadily waiting for its prey in utter darkness. Hadn’t I blinked all this time? I poked my fingers deep down my eye-ball, swelling it with pain and tear to guarantee the presence of darkness. Moreover, to feel alive. What’s happening? Why couldn’t I trace anything in my room? Was it my room at all or I was somewhere else, somewhere god-forbidden black hole of eternal darkness?
No, it was my room. I could feel it. Anyhow I decided to get up and drew curtains away from the windows to allow some faint light to come in, but to no avail. There was no light source out there somewhere. What happened to the moon? And the stars? Might be it was that no-moon night, major inspiration for all those ghost stories to come into existence. My throat was parched. I tried to go for my water bottle, scrambling my way to find it which usually resides besides my bed. But it was proving difficult to get along easily with no faint outline to perceive anything. Were my eyes still not used to darkness? Am I succumbed to some kind of blindness?
I found my water bottle with bit of effort, rolled away somehow only to be stopped by my computer desk; sitting in the corner of the room since years with composure of “King Vikram” bearing the load of “Betal” perched atop its shoulder: my high-end powerfully configured gaming desktop. Water smelt rancid somehow or did it really smell? Better not to drink this and bring the fresh one, I tried for the door of my room which luckily I knew in which direction lies as the exercise of finding water bottle had pretty much given me the idea of layout and spread of the room. After all I had spent large amount of my life in the same room. My room which became altar of study and then became altar of everything for me. I was so attached to it, spending so many years in it creating ideas, building career, partying with friends, musing alone, escaping from outer world, dreaming about girls, day-dreaming about future and what not. The room ceased to be the non-living entity and became my living breathing friend, accomplice in all my deeds and in all my sins.
I was aware of another side-quest of getting to light-switches lays in path of main quest of reaching the main door. With a little effort I was able to find the switchboard. My fingers played on all switches like an accomplished piano player, but the only sound I could garnered was “tic-toc” out of it, with darkness remaining as it was. Might be the power outage? I don’t understand why power-outage occurred always on this kind of incidental-heavy nights. Only option left for me now was to go for door and check out. I fumbled initially then contemplated and calculated where the door-knob might be. To my surprise, there was nothing there but a stub to indicate the signs of door-knob existed before it was pried out of its position. Should I call out to somebody in the midst of this frightful night? No, what would others think of me if it would turn out to be case of misinterpretation on my side. People already conceived me as secluded lost soul living in my own imaginary world by locking myself in the room all the time. They would be sure by this incident that I lost my mind completely. They were never going to understand that their own incompetency to cope up with my emotional level had pushed me away from general social attachments. Their hypocrite way of socializing had set me apart and took shelter to only available safe zone to me: my room.
Suddenly there was a loud rap on the door, shaking whole door frame. I stepped away from the door with utmost fear. I was scared to approach the door as if it was surged with electric fence. Silence following the loud rap was so thick that I could hear my heart pumping liters of blood through my veins just to keep me alive and to face my deepest fears. I heard dogs barking somewhere upon seeing something which was not meant to be seen by human, baby crying in anticipation of food, late night TV show running with background laughter sound effects. Who the hell was running TV in power-outage? Before I could conceive something, there was second loud thud, than there was third, fourth…..It was kind of beating of big drum with large bamboo sticks. Suddenly there was flash of brightness like lightning in the storm, but I heard no sound of it or might be its sound drowned into cacophony of drumming on door. There was second flash and from corner of my eye I saw something crawling on wall opposite to my gaming desk. It was kind of bug of fist size. Then I realized they were everywhere in the room, crawling on all walls, forming the shape of large face sticking on wall. With raping on door continued I had vague feeling of room was getting alive and laughing at me for some unknown reason.
It came suddenly to my mind, a faint remembrance, happened yesterday, might be before that somewhere in the past, but I knew for sure that was the only reason describing these weird incidents. A remembrance where my friends had called me to go with them on outing just for the sake of fun and I choose my room over them. A remembrance where invitation from my sister to simply come to her house following festival ritual was refused so as to spend more time in Gaming and reading and being there in the room. A remembrance where my parents were pursuing me just to set up a meeting with future prospect partner but my low self-esteem along with my bad social attachment history had compelled me to reject the offer without second thought. There were so many remembrances like these, pointing to me that I always had chosen my room over everything else. I never left my room for others and now the room had decided not to allow me to leave.
As this realization known to it, the Room, it was bathed with white clinical light, stabbing my eyes with sheer white pain. As my eyes adjusted to sudden brightness, I saw my reflection laughing at me from full-size mirror on the wall besides the door. Drumming had stopped. The room looked like more of a surgical room or operation room from where one could only come out without a limb or two or worst as dead. I felt something retching under my face-skin. As I tried to satisfy the urge of scratching, my skin suddenly peeled out. Unknowingly, I held one end of it with my fingers and slowly started scraping out the skin from my face. It was as easy as peeling of boiled potato. I didn’t feel pain, just the tingle of needles pinching my tissue underneath. Surprisingly, there was no blood. Might be somehow I could remove only epidermis and not puncturing blood vessels below. After some time, I was standing with my white face devoid of any skin in front of mirror, having my dead face in one of my hand containing holes where the eyes and nostrils and mouth had been. I poked the white tissue of my face. It felt like sushi. Suddenly, a blood vein embossed out of my temple imitating lightning out of the sky; both in look and speed. And then more veins embossing, creating bloody web all over my stark white face. I could feel and see blood flowing through web of pulsating veins. I screamed with all the strength which only had adverse effect of straining and puncturing all the veins at the same moment, showering my face and mirror in Niagara of blood and…………………….
I found myself sweating profusely in the bed. It looked like it was rare kind of lucid dreaming what I experienced. Sunshine was wrestling with window curtains to brighten my room. First time ever I thought about drawing the curtains right away and let the light fill my hollow, empty room. My CPU was blinking in LEDs, requiring my attention on downloaded material which I kept running whole night. I heard my parents asking me whether I want to attend social gathering held by relative, with pure selfish reason of getting me introduced to “future prospects”. To their surprise, and also to mine my mind instantly replied “Just wait, I’ll be ready and come”. As I left my room to freshen up, I noticed beams of sunlight spreading on the walls of my room giving the feel that room was smiling with joy and happiness.